I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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