took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think pants incapable of making pants work
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
