I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
