Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
