I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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