Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
