they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize