Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Someone signed my nipple.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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