9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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