So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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