lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
