i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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