im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
