Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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