wake up i wanna do it froggy style
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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