my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
