Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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