He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
