New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
