Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
