you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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