I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
