Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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