Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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