The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize