this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
