Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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