I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
