And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
