Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
