I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
