remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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