Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
