i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
