DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
