I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I would ride that face into the sunset
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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