Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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