How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
