I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
