lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
