i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dick very happy bro
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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