dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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