last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
