Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
