her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
