are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
