He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
