I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
