Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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