If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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