so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
