My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
