is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
