??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just had sex on a roof
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
