I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
