is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
