he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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