she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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