Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
