He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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