I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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