smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
