Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
