So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
