Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
