Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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