"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
