Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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