U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
