theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
