Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You smell like stripper and shame
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
