Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dicks are not precious.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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