dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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