once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
