I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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