bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
