he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
