im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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