I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
